Friday, July 16, 2010

Things are tough all over

I have been writing a post in in my head for days now in an attempt to sort through what has been a terrible month for me. Nothing seriously bad happened but I have surprised and frightened myself by the dark mood I have been in for the last month and the completely unacceptable way that I have treated the people around me (mainly D).

I need to get it out...but tonight is apparently not the night. D and I are getting along for the first time in a few days (more on that later), and I need to go snuggle under his arm before I head to sleep. The thing is, we move into our new apartment tomorrow morning and it looks like we won't have internet for two weeks. This totally slays me because I want to use this space to write about the past month, and I know that I really need to write about it. One of the things adding to my apparently black-heart and forked tongue is the fact that I haven't had a moment to myself since we arrived in Oregon. I have been yearning to get back to this space, to share a little of what I have been going through and attempt to make sense of it.

I am going to try to write a little off-line (what a concept) and utilize coffee-shop internet to post. If I don't get that done than I will absolutely, definitely, no-question-about-it be back in two weeks. Just in time to tell you all how it feels to be in the roughest patch of your relationship with your partner when are just two weeks shy of your first wedding anniversary. (Spoiler alert: it does not feel awesome).


  1. HUGS. I commend you for writing about the hard stuff. It's totally crippling, sometimes, to stare down that shitty little beast of which we are so often ashamed, but... I, personally, think it helps in keeping me honest to myself and those around me. Obviously, some things can't/shouldn't be written about, but I take the good with the bad. Best of luck with your night off.

  2. Moving house can be so stressful, never mind whatever else you are going through.

    We'll be here when you get back.

  3. Oh sweetie. I'm with you. Loves to you these coming weeks.

  4. I totally feel you on this. I have been experiencing something similar. Things have not been so pretty for B and I as of late and our anniversary is a few months away. Hugs!

  5. Oh sweetie. Oh HONEY. I know that place you've been in recently, all too intimately. And I know about blogging making it better, or at least helping you find away of understanding it better. It was the reason I came back to mine. And I'm so sorry things have been like that recently, but I'm relieved you think you're on the way out. And relieved that you and D are getting through it, together. It's hard when you find yourself being horrid to the only person who can tolerate you, though.

    Lots of love, my dear. And all the best with the move. (I definitely feel you on that stress!)

  6. Oh, MWK. A big hug for you. *SMUSH*