Monday, October 31, 2011

Business Trippin'

Y'all, I'm on a business trip.

As I type I am sitting in a king-size bed watching cable while browsing the internet. Earlier I used the "fitness center" and then ate dinner on the state's dime. It's fancy times over here.

Tomorrow: free raisin bran and dehydrated eggs!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Friday, October 14, 2011

Conversations at our house, Shame Edition

I come home horrified and quickly strip off my work pants. 

Me (to D$): I need you to do something gross.

D$: Okay...what?

Me (hurriedly shoving the crotch of my work pants into D$'s face):  Smell these and tell me what you think they smell like.

D$, without flinching, puts his face into the crotch of the outstretched pants. 

D$: Oh, no...

MWK:  RIGHT? But...that is human pee, or cat pee??!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Grind that Pony

I'm gonna go ahead and quote Jezebel and tell you that you're gonna need to be canceling your plans for the rest of the day. You'll be watching Beyonce's new video on repeat and basking in its colored-leotard-high-ponytail-quad-drums dance fest.

Sigh. I'll have to apologize to my arriving friends for not getting the house clean. They'll understand.

EDIT: Apparently she says "Grind up On It" instead of "Grind That Pony." I seriously thought that "Grind that Pony" was a new hot dance craze involving swinging your ponytail around (which, to my credit she was doing while she sang it). In fact, I think it is a better lyric, and should be the new hot dance craze. I'm singing it my way from now on.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Cue obnoxious squealing

My womens are visiting this weekend. 

I am so excited I could die. 

One of them is six months pregnant and the other is getting married in June. I've spent a fair amount of time in the last several months being sad about how I am missing all the good stuff. I don't know what G's favorite pregnancy snack is. I don't know if wedding planning is making L nuts.* I don't even know what they will be for Halloween!

Oh god it is gonna be so awesome to see them. I plan to spend several hours a day staring at G's preggars belly and asking her invasive questions about her pregnancy, followed by asking L embarrassing questions about her honeymoon lingerie plans. Then we will get pedicures. 

Friday needs to GET. HERE. 

*We are bad phone talkers. The time difference doesn't help. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Happy 19th Anniversary, Mr. President (and Ms. First Lady)

I really, really hope that President Barak and First Lady Michelle Obama are as in-love and awesome as they appear in these pictures

But...what is happening in No. 7? 

Sourcing note: The article doesn't include sources but I'm guessing they're all from White House Photographers (except the last one, of course).