Friday, July 1, 2011

What's with today, today?

I called down the Thunder, and now I've got it. This, folks, is what you get when you tell BIP to ask you questions and then call her out for not having done so quickly enough. 

Have you ever though about the world being made out of cheese?
I think about this all the time, actually. It always brings me around to another equally important question:
If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

What's with the attitude?
What? I don't have a fucking attitude. Fuck you.*

If you could have one thing in the whole world would it be
a. a Ukulele 
b. a panther
c. Ryan Reynold's tighty whiteys
Alex, I'll take "A panther wearing Ryan Reynold's tighty whiteys and playing a Ukulele" for 500.  DUH.

If you ever worked in a chicken house... well HAVE YOU?
Actually, yes I have. We had chickens when I was growing up and I spent a fair amount of time in their house stealing their eggs and shoveling their shit and talking to them. We had a rooster once who was a real jerk. My parents went out of town and my brother had a huge party where people ended up sleeping drunk all over the property. I woke up to one of his friends chasing the Rooster around the property with a hatchet because it work him up crowing. True story. I'm sorry...what was the question again? 

Make up acronyms out of these, and then I'll tell you what they mean, that's fun right?:
Those are already acronyms. You're a crazy person. Did I ever tell you about that one time that Belvedere (the) Voracious Dog Batted A Lions' Paw (and) Crazily Vented Tiny Tommy With Rotational Force Momentum? It was super nutso, for real.  

*I'm just kidding! I lerve you! 


  1. Sugar High (gotta have it really need it to get by).

  2. I am dying over here. Hang on, I need to stop laughing so hard.

  3. @Jil: YESSS! How I made it through life without making out with Ethan Embry (or whatever his last name is now) I will never know.