Sunday, September 18, 2011

My season

Deception Pass State Park, by D$

It's been wet and grey here in Portland this weekend, and I am blissful. 

Autumn has arrived, bringing me peace. 

It drizzled all day yesterday and is drizzling today. Leaves adorn the sidewalks and the air smells fresh. The city is cleaning itself and I am cleansed as well. Saturday morning, awaking to rain, I felt my body and soul sighing in relief. I felt calm and peaceful for the first time in weeks. My shoulders loosened. My mind relaxed. I allowed myself hours to read on the couch without feeling guilty. I felt like cooking, and did. 

Sometime Saturday afternoon I noticed that I'd run several errands, seen relatives and still felt relaxed. At no point during the day did I begin to feel frantic with tasks undone. Towards the evening when D$ was napping and I was finished reading and was making dinner, it hit me. Summer is not my season. As much as I love sunshine and daylight, summer stresses me the fuck out. Too many things I should be doing. People in and out of town, sunshine that I have to take advantage of, poorly organized barbecues to attend. Obligations, albeit fun obligations, to a person who wants to snuggle inside, who craves hours alone, who sunburns and sweats profusely and dreads organized sporting events. 

But fall. Fall is my season. I feel at home - most strongly myself - in the light drizzle and the grey light. Mine is a constitution uniquely formulated for rain, cold breezes, and warm sweaters. In the summer I enjoy the warmth and the frolics (and the vegetables) but I am not at home. 

Autumn makes sense to me. In the fall, I fit in. Less daylight is replaced by warm lamplight from homes and shop windows. Hot chocolate and popcorn are reasonable dinner entrees. My favorite hoodie/jacket combination is pulled out of the closet, along with scarves and boots and sweaters. There is Halloween to look forward too, and Thanksgiving, and even Christmas. Nesting and burrowing are not only allowed, they are practically called for and I am happy - relieved, even - to oblige. 

Sigh. Thank god you're back, Autumn. I've missed you. 


  1. Oooo, I'm envious. Sacramento continues to straddle summer and fall, and Phoenix is still hotter than hell. Someday (soon I hope), I'll join you in jeans and warm sweaters. :)

    P/S I do have a bone to pick with fall, however. The only good vegetable of the entire season is the parsnip. How do I work with that as a squash hater?

  2. Oh, man, but I love summer. Beer, hammocks, books. But, you are right, it is busy, busy, busy. I've only relearned the essential summer three this past summer, something I lost long ago. As for fall, it is rather inspiring & rich in it's need for sweaters and coziness.

    Welcome home, yo.

  3. I'm not by nature a fall or winter person. I am too steeped in tropical sunshine for that to ever be the case, I think. I usually find that these days of summer's falling induce melancholy more than anything else, at least until my eyes adjust to the lamplight. But even so, I can appreciate the season's graces, have even come to love them over time. And you have just illuminated them most beautifully here.

  4. What a beautiful ode to autumn. I don't think it will ever arrive in Phoenix. We are not getting the lovely crisp breezes that make autumn's presence known. Instead the weather is feeling a bit *spring-like* with somewhat cool breezes tempering the heat of 99 degrees. It has dropped below 110+. So, I suppose, there is that.

    I used to be a summer girl. Until I moved to the desert.

  5. This. This is exactly how I feel. And that picture is fantastic and makes me want to immediately hop in my car and drive north.