Now it is clearly my duty to be supportive here. The man has worked hard and is almost at the end of a really important goal. He deserves all the support I can give him. If the roles were reversed I would be visibly stressed, probably crying regularly and requiring a lot of care from D (meals, tolerance for bitchiness, etc.). D$ would supply these things abundantly.
Buuuut D$ doesn't get stressed like that. He doesn't get grumpy and still makes most of our meals. In fact a friend was in town last night and we all had dinner that he helped make. The only thing that D$ requires is that I tolerate his total distraction about everything in the world (including me). Unfortunately, being tolerant is not really one of my virtues. Neither is patience.
We've had several conversations where I talked and talked and he basically grunted in response. I think I actually caught him purposefully looking away from my naked body when I was getting in bed the other night. (Either that or he simply didn't notice, which, hello, that is worse!)
In my heart of hearts, being ignored like this makes me batshit insane. "Why am I invisible? Is he bored of us? Is my naked body boring? GAHHHH PAY ATTENTION TO ME! "
Obviously that response is totally unwarranted and childish and I'm working to keep in under wraps.* In fact, after I post this I am leaving the house for the day so that D$ has the space to work and I don't run the risk of bothering him every hour (which I will unfailingly do). Part of writing this is to remind myself that a) all of this is simply a symptom of the upcoming dissertation defense and b) no my marriage is not failing and c) seriously, self: get over it and be supportive already.
I can do that...right?
*Except for, you know, posting in on the internet.
hahahaha - I could have written this post. I'm sooooo similar, says "THE SHANNER OF ATTENTION".
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