Guest postin'

Blind Irish Pirate temporarily lost her mind and asked me to write something for her blog while she is on vacation. I'm over there today talking about this little guy. Check it out.

So...that was intense

So, sorry about the rage-fest in the last post.

To make up for it, here is a baby koala. Try to be mad at me now.

Image from Zooborns via CuteOverload

Is CuteOverload a totally lame website to visit these days? Whatever. I refuse to be shamed out of my love for baby animals.

Worst wedding/people ever

It's rant time, y'all.

Maybe you have heard of this wedding?* The wedding between a white man and a white woman, in South Africa, that had a "Colonial Africa" theme? The wedding that was raved about on some photography website for how authentic it was and how neat it was that the couple used actual "colonial artifacts." THE WEDDING THAT FEATURED A STAFF OF BLACK SERVANTS DRESSED UP LIKE SOME IDIOT'S OUT OF AFRICA WET DREAM??

Yea. It makes my head explode with rage and my mind fold in on itself in sorrow. THE. FUCK. 

I spent years studying the ravages of colonialism on the continent of Africa (I could say countries because I hate it when people treat the continent like a country, but the country barriers are colonial vestiges anyway). I lived in a post-colonial country.** Even if you f you can get past ignoring cultures to create your own country boundaries for financial and political gain, assimilating people so they make better servants (which, why would you get past that without seeing how it is offensive?) you still have: cutting off children's hands when they don't collect enough rubber on your plantation, raping, killing, enslaving people and sending them across the world in deathships only to suffer even more and longer upon their arrival to some terrible foreign country. The list goes fucking on, people. 

Listen. I usually don't get wrapped up in these flash-in-the-pan Internet hysterics. It is not my nature to freak out in the comments of other people's blogs about some terrible thing they did. I know that a lot of things come off wrong, especially on the Internet. Part of me (a very little part) wants to give these people the benefit of the doubt. Like maybe they are just extremely stupid and not the total pieces of shit I imagine them to be. But, NO. You cannot be a white person marrying a white man in South Africa and NOT GET why having a "Colonial Africa" themed wedding is all kinds of fucked up. That is not stupidity or innocent ignorance, it is willful denial of white privilege and it is exactly the kind of shit that causes pain and trouble all over the world. 

Ugh. I hate them. That is all. Sorry for being such an anger ball.

*I am not linking to the photography blog that posted the wedding because my hatred for them right now is such that I cannot give them more press right now. The source is in the link above if you want to go to the original post. Thankfully most the commenters feel the way I do (how often does that happen?)

**And strove every day to be aware of my situation and privileges that I had as a white American. I tried very, very hard to be aware of the circumstances that allowed me to be there and the responsibilities that meant I had. I knew that I was walking a very thin line between honest attempts to get to know another country/peoples/cultures and a shallow fetishism of the "Other." I can't say that I always succeeded but at least I thought about it (a lot) and at least I tried. 

How do you like THESE carrots?

Crappy phone photo, Farmers Market

Wishing you a cuddly-vegetable kind of week. 

If, you know, you're into that kind of thing.

What's with today, today?

I called down the Thunder, and now I've got it. This, folks, is what you get when you tell BIP to ask you questions and then call her out for not having done so quickly enough. 


Have you ever though about the world being made out of cheese?
I think about this all the time, actually. It always brings me around to another equally important question:
If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?


What's with the attitude?
What? I don't have a fucking attitude. Fuck you.*


If you could have one thing in the whole world would it be
a. a Ukulele 
b. a panther
c. Ryan Reynold's tighty whiteys
Alex, I'll take "A panther wearing Ryan Reynold's tighty whiteys and playing a Ukulele" for 500.  DUH.


If you ever worked in a chicken house... well HAVE YOU?
Actually, yes I have. We had chickens when I was growing up and I spent a fair amount of time in their house stealing their eggs and shoveling their shit and talking to them. We had a rooster once who was a real jerk. My parents went out of town and my brother had a huge party where people ended up sleeping drunk all over the property. I woke up to one of his friends chasing the Rooster around the property with a hatchet because it work him up crowing. True story. I'm sorry...what was the question again? 


Make up acronyms out of these, and then I'll tell you what they mean, that's fun right?:
BVD
BAL
PCV
TTW
RFM
Those are already acronyms. You're a crazy person. Did I ever tell you about that one time that Belvedere (the) Voracious Dog Batted A Lions' Paw (and) Crazily Vented Tiny Tommy With Rotational Force Momentum? It was super nutso, for real.  




*I'm just kidding! I lerve you!