Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dear The Nest Magazine:

What the F, how did you find me?

I mean, I know how you found me - I never should have signed up for your stupid Knot website and your hive-inducing to-do lists.

But WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE? I didn't ask you to come here. In my 16 months of being engaged I never once bought a wedding magazine and I damn sure don't want a magazine that tells me how to act like a married person. The idea of "dating another couple" makes me want to stab myself in the eyeballs* and I don't need you to make me feel depressed about my white-walled and beige-carpeted apartment because it is all I can afford. I don't live in a damn bungalow and my only dinner dilemmas are a) what is D making and how soon will be be done or b) should I make my quesadilla in the microwave or on the stove.

So: get. out. I do not want you here! So far I have been able to avoid looking past your cover, but I fear that if you stay any longer I may acquiesce.

* More on this later.


  1. Seriously? There's a magazine?! I started getting emails from some those crazy Nest people on my honeymoon, which royally annoyed me. Thank god they haven't found my house!

  2. Oh dear god yes there is a magazine. Why it is surviving while Conde Nast is laying off people like nobody's business, I have no idea.

  3. I got one of these, too! And we aren't even married yet. I signed up on The Knot once, didn't care for it, and our plans stretched wayyy out and we're not even officially engaged yet.