All right, Nest Magazine.
Remember how I told you to leave me alone?
Well, you clearly haven't been listening, because your glossy ass showed up in my mailbox again this week. For someone who gives relationship advice, you could stand to work on your listening skills.
But, okay, Nest Magazine. Since I'm trying to have a better attitude and all, I figured I'd give you another shot. Not assume the worst, see what happens. And to be fair, you weren't as vomit-inducing as last time. I can always use a good roast chicken recipe, and no, I didn't know how to pick out a perfect pomegranate. That may have something to do with the fact that I don't really eat pomegranates, but whatever.
However, Nest Magazine, there was one thing I found to be particularly stupid. And that was your article on how to "Justify Having More Sex." And no, it wasn't just the poor-man's-Andy-Warhol-Banana illustration, although that was dumb. I know that subtly and originality aren't your skills, so I'm willing to let that slide.
Nor was it the "scientific" facts about how sex is good for me, even though...duh.
No, Nest Magazine, it was the entire gist of the article. I'm sorry, but have you really ever needed a reason to justify having more sex, Nest Magazine? Cause I certainly haven't.
Nope, I can't think of one single time when I thought to myself, "Boy, I could really use some sex right now. Yep, suuuure wish I could have me some sex. But I just can't think of a good enough reason."
Nest Magazine, clearly your priorities are all out of whack. Please work on this.